Magical Milestone

It was a Daddy's Moment. Picture your own hand,  from your own perspective, letting go of the bicycle when your little girl takes her first pedals without knowing that you have let go.  It's a grand moment for us fathers. My one and only child was overseas on vacation when she decided to take her very first steps.  I was proud of her yet remorse that I had missed this moment. Several small milestones have passed like this because she is a regular international traveler, and I spend most of my awake time working. Of course even if she would have been home, I could have missed it just as easily working 12 -14 hour shifts on my job.

One afternoon I was headed to work on my overnight shift when a drunk driver came at me head on while crossing a very narrow single lane bridge.  He came launching over the crest of the bridge and crossed into my lane, threatening to hit me head on in just a matter of moments. Being on a narrow bridge with not even a sidewalk to swerve on to, I realized that this was the end. Its fucking over. I didn't freak out and scream or yell, I just remember the deepest sinking feeling in my gut and muttering "aww shit."
Just like people say, your life will pass before your eyes before you go, my mind did just that. I thought of too many things to try to recall, but interestingly enough one of the things that I pictured was a view of my hand leaving the back of the bicycle when my daughter took her first solo pedals.   It was just imagination since that event had never happened. In seconds I would be impaled head on by a speeding bmw and this is what I think of ? A milestone that I would never get to experience. 

That drunk in the bmw some how drifted back towards his own lane just in the nick of time, I don't know how our side mirrors didn't meet in an explosion of glass. I survived, unscathed, heart beating like mad and the hair on my entire body standing on end. I remember being severely angry all the way to work. I wanted to hurt that person. That person that nearly ended my life before I had the chance to experience those magical milestones that a parent cherishes with their child. 

Fast forward two years later to today. Today I let go of that bicycle and watched my child pedal off on her own, fully unaware that daddy was no longer holding her up.  It was the best moment ever. The neighbors were out and smiling, and kids were cheering my daughter and running along side and I had a smile from ear to ear.  I thought of that drunk driver, back on the Sellwood Bridge in Portland Oregon, who almost deprived me of this moment and a single tear did manage escape. I'm so glad I got to see all of her excitement and emotion when she was riding by herself. I am so proud of her. It means more to me then she will ever know, more then anyone will ever know.  I wouldn't have missed this moment for the world and thankfully, I didn't.